apocahipster:

me and my friend jessie are physically incapable of having a normal fucking conversation so things happen where we accidently end up rping a dude bro trying to hit on me, an ordinary woman who is not a snake


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headinthegrave:

nessa007:

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✌🏻😊✌🏻

charlesoberonn:

First part of a Twitter thread by @SamAsIAm: "A friend who is a municipal arborist just called to tell me about a guy who cut down 32 big mature trees on his neighbor's NJ property to get a better view of NYC. He hired a guy who hired another guy. Cut them down and left the debris there. The fine per tree is $1000 so the 1/ 2/ guy propably thought he was going to just pay a $32k fine. But the arborist wrote violations to all 3 parties, 96 in all (by hand, took him 12 hours) and there's a provision requiring the replanting of like trees "of the same size." And it's on an inaccessible by road"ALT
Continuation of Twitter thread by @SamAsIAm: "3/ mountainside. He put the affronted landowner in touch with the only guy who would take on such a job. Thry have to build a road, remove the debris, plant big trees and water them for two years. He quoted $1.5 million. And additional fines total $400k. I hope whoever this ass 4/4 is he can't pay and they lien and sell his property, the value of which he probably figured would be increased so much a $32k fine was worth it, to cover the cost. We are living in the Jaime Dimon ethos. "So fine us, we can afford it. 4/5 The PS to this is I was just given a zoom link to the 1st court hearing tomorrow. I'm not sure if it's just for trail participants or spectators can use it, but if they let me observe I'll add more. It doesn't appear to have been picked up by any news source yet."ALT
Quote Tweet by @ParSpec: "Apparently NOBODY ELSE IN THE QUOTE TWEETS RESPECTS TRADITION ENOUGH TO POST THE TREE LAW COMIC"ALT
A 1-page comic by u/reachling: Panel 1: A saddenned person with short hair looking at a tree stump, their hands are holding the sides of their head. They're saying "Oh no! The rare cherry tree grandma brought with her from the old country! It's been chooped down!!" and then in another speech bubble "And only a week after the new neighbor complained about it blocking his view too!" Panel 2: The young person turns around with a befuddled look on their face. A speech bubble from the bushes says "Tree law?" Panel 3: A bald bearded lawyer with a suit and briefcase looks from behind a picket fence and says "Tree law?" Panel 4: Another lawyer with shades pops their head from inside the bushes and says "Tree law?!" Panel 5: Another lawyer crawls from under the stump with a briefcase and says "Tree law!!" Panel 6: The four lawyers carry the young person above them. The person is looking confused. Two of the lawyers are holding pitchforks and torches. Around them are raining dollar bills. The lawyers are chanting "Tree! Law! Tree! Law!"ALT

Art by u/reachling

mijitogustavito:

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Keeping this quote to my grave

zombeesknees:

only-tiktoks:

#i like how he looks genuinely into all of it asdf

erikkamirs:

Sci-fi and Idol anime overlap way more often than you’d expect lmao.

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plum-soup:

spencerthespacer-deactivated202:

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HEAVY George Costanza vibes in this post

frog-cult-leader:

sleepnoises:

here’s transparent salamander hand for you guys to blap against things

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*blap*

justducklord:

Hey, y'all, does anyone know how to counter the Wall of Flesh opening????? The answer is time sensitive.

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maskeraith:

A screenshot of a Wikipedia page. The text is cut off at the start and end and reads "Pokémon. He, however, rejects the idea as mere naivety and then attempts to force immortality on the player, their friends and himself (x) / kill everyone in the building (y) and".ALT

This line from lysandres wiki is so funny his motivations are truly incomprehensible

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